Lately I've been trying to clean out my stuff and get rid of junk I really don't need anymore. I'm a bit of a pack rat though so its been a bit hard. A few things enabling my pack-ratness is 1.) I grew up in the same house my entire life, plus I was the baby so there was no really urgency to get rid of my things growing up and they simply went into 1 of 5 storage places in my house. So I have crates full of dolls, an entire room set of precious moments dolls and trinkets, a plastic bin of of beanie babies and other miscellaneous things. I know a lot of it I can just leave, but for some reason I can't shake the feeling that every aspect of my life must be organized before the baby gets here. Crazy right?
The other little dilemma I came across is clothes. I basically stopped growing when I was a freshman, so a I still have a lot of clothes I wear from high school. I feel very sheepish admitting that my style stopped evolving in high school but in my feeble defense I live in California (we're not especially known for sophisticated style) and I've worked in a hospital since I graduated so I never really accumulated grown up clothes. My typical outfits lean on the rocker side and are made up of jeans, plain cami's,miniskirts, cuffed shorts and my number one online shopping destination is karmaloop.com for their slightly expensive for cheap but clever screen-print t-shirts. Shoes I typically wear vans, flip flops high tops, and cowboy boots. The only real difference to my wardrobe since I graduated is clubbing clothes and skanky heels.
So you can imagine that it hit me like a ton of bricks that in a few short months I am going to look like a 16 And Pregnant reject.
When my former punky friend had her baby I came up on a lot of clothes for the same reason. I was just visiting and she started giving me clothes like a madwoman. Her only explanation was that she was a mother now and she couldn't wear those kinds of clothes anymore. I protested and told her she didn't have to get rid of her clothes and that she was still the same person, but she gave me one of the first of those "you're not a mom yet so you just don't know" looks. I just shrugged it off and came up on a lot of clothing with skull motifs.
Now I get it. Don't get me wrong, I know I don't have to pull a 180 and get rid of everything, that most of my clothes are perfectly ok, but its the feeling of growing up. I'm 22 and I still look like a teenager mostly I can wear whatever goofy thing I want or even wear my hair in low pigtails and people still think its cute, but its a bit different when you have a baby isn't it? I can still use my tokidoki bag but not with a cartoon screen print top and converse. It's more about finding balance with fun stuff and more grown up things than it was before. Another thing I realized is that mother's instinctively know when another girl isn't a mother. If I meet a group of girls the mothers find each other within seconds and no one with children has ever asked me if I have a baby.
Weird isn't it? Did anyone else go through the same thing or is this just me?