it's been almost a week since lent started and, iggy and i have chosen to really focus on our relationship with each other.it's been hard y'all.
we're not at the throes of divorce or miserable by any means, but sometimes at the end of the day i wish i showed him more respect or that he showed a little more consideration. we are in it for the long haul and everything.
sometimes i get a little yell-y when things are messy or i don't feel like iggy's doing enough around the house.
case in point, a few days ago iggy managed to spill water into the cup holder in my car. i nicely asked him to clean it up.
he forgot all about it when we parked and had to unload the kids and stuff.
i nicely reminded him later when we went to the store and he threw in a napkin that immediately got soaked and floated and deteriorated in the pool of water.
he told me he would clean it when we got off.
he didn't.
and i've manged not to call him names or yell.
who knows what i've done to make him seethe inside but we're trying to have a more positive relationship for the kids, it's more obvious now that anna picks up our habits as she's getting older.
one thing that has helped us is having a "reset" moment when things start escalating, and we have to take a deep breathe and move on in ways we wouldn't regret.
(remember how i'm always harping on that iggy never takes pictures of me with the kids? he's working on it ^^ ;)
Visiting your blog as part of the Keep Love in Lent event…
ReplyDeleteLoved your thoughts on trying to improve your relationship with your husband. Sometimes it is challenging! I like the idea of your "reset" moment, to cool things down a bit.
Wishing you and your family a blessed Lent.
Cheryl
http://www.diary-of-a-sower.blogspot.com
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI struggle with the same issues with my hubby, have to remind myself not to nag. I also get a little yell-y, but when I hear my children doing it to each other, it's a not so subtle reminder to work on it! fourlittleones.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wonder if one of the blessings of my infertility is to allow me the time to *try* to curb this bad habit I also share - nagging, yelling, just generally not loving type of behavior towards the Mr.
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely a work-in-progress!
Thanks for reminding me I'm not alone, and as the body of Christ, we can help each other reach our goal!
Hi Grace, I think that's the number need of men is to be respected by their wives. Or that we show are appreciation for their efforts...even though we could have done it better ourselves but at least, they're trying! Different times in the past, I've made it a point to praise or compliment my husband to others, within his hearing. Something simple like, "he did such a great job fixing the leaky faucet" or " he works very hard for us" or "he's so good at encouraging our son". Know what I mean? He lights up like a Christmas tree. It has to be meaningful and credible. I don't do fake! Besides he'd see that coming a mile away :)
ReplyDeleteAt more aggravating times, I've prayed to God to show me the good in my husband so I can focus on that. It works every time! Then whatever frustration I had about what he did or didn't do well, or at all, eases down and a fight is avoided.
You're so right that your children will observe your interaction with your hubby and imitate it. I do think they need to learn that adults have conflicts at times, and how to effectively solve it. I never saw my parents fight or have an argument and I was ill equipped when we first were married. Had to learn on the fly!
Anyway, your family is adorable and blessed to have you! May God bless you and shower your family with His love and blessings!
I'm not married yet, but this is a great reminder to me to be more respectful of my roommates. Thank you for sharing these little lessons & God bless you!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the reminder to respect and honor my husband, and that what goes on between us can impact our kids. :) I love how you honest and candid you are in your writing, and I LOVE your photos! :) Thank you, too, for joining the link-up! God bless you and yours always! :)
ReplyDeleteYour blog is adorable! And this post comes at such a good time for me. It takes effort to stop myself from blurting out whatever little criticisms come to mind, but wow, does it really pay off when I shut my mouth and remember to be loving first. Same goes for my kids, actually. Good Lent to you and your beautiful family!
ReplyDeleteRegina
http://www.alivinggarden.com
Oh, another post that hits home for me! My husband is a TBI survivor ... his memory loss can drive me up a wall sometimes. Mainly because I'm expecting him to function as a on-TBI survivor as opposed to who he is. Ahhh, something to take to the Lord today. God bless you and your sweet family!
ReplyDeleteYou might like a book called Fascinating Womanhood. It was a HUGE help to me in how I interact with my husband. Seriously, a HUGE help. Good luck with your Lent!
ReplyDeletethank you!
DeleteI agree with you: focusing on the relationship with your spouse is hard, especially when life is so crowded with work and kids and extended family, etc. I hope your efforts are fruitful this Lenten season. I plan to talk to my husband about recharging our respect for each other this way; thank you for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteHello! Here from the KLIL link up. I LOVE that you are focusing on your hubby! My husband and I just gave a talk to our parish on marriage, and it really brought us into the reality check that we are CALLED to put each other first! God will honor your love and your sacrifices. Hang in there! Have a blessed Lent. - Susan solesearchingmamma.com
ReplyDeleteIt's a good reminder to focus on our husbands and our marriage...especially within the chaos of kids. It's easy to spend ourselves meeting all the needs of the kids, with nothing left for our spouse. Thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDelete